King of the rodeo.

My hair falls down from my bun. It falls from my bun and it is becoming messed up, but this time I do not care, I do not mind. I am fine and I am happy. Do you hear that? Do you?

I am happy.

Because the hair falls out of its place atop my head from all the movement, all the dancing. The music has never felt so loud, so amazing, so intense, so relaxing, so beautiful. So wondrous. So dangerous, so calm, so earthlike and real and all those mushy gushy things. The music, at last, is me, as I am it.

I shake my head as I dance as I laugh and laugh and laugh. I know I am supposed to be doing my biology homework, because my big, thick green-covered book is in front of me on the desk, but that does not matter as it has always, always mattered in the past, too, too much. It's there now and there always and I will get to it, but now, I must dance.

I shake my head as I dance as I laugh and laugh and laugh. I know my brother is at his desk right next to me. I know he can see. I know he can hear. I know he can witness my sillyness and wonderful, childlike, simple play that seems just too stupid to be. He has not known me as she has not known me as they have not known me to be like this. Not for months, not for years, not since he broke my heart and the other left.

But I listen here and now and always and in my sleep, I listen and listen to the songs he sings for me with words of passion and joyful bliss. I feel my mind spinning in circles of repitition, but that just makes me giggle so, so much, and laugh and sign and dance. Love and be loved.

I am finally happy and I finally know it. The light is dim and it feels cool and warm and never too hot and suddenly, suddenly, suddenly, everything is just exactly right, just exactly perfect. I am king of the rodeo, king of my rodeo. Such a confident, lovely rodeo with such laughter and hugging and warmth so cool that it tingles my toes. The closeness and loving talk makes me never want to leave, never never never never. I will never leave this rodeo, my rodeo; king of my rodeo.

And I hear her words, I hear them now. They are soft and they are sweet and they are so harmonious and suddenly, suddenly, suddenly, my ears will hear no other noise; the music and her words, those words, her loving words.

And I know that this is not the end. Nothing is the end.